I then posted on Facebook that I was in a bad mood and within seconds I got a message from a friend letting me know that a mutual friend of ours had just lost her 16 year old daughter to suicide last night.
My heart literally sank and suddenly my grumpiness felt so unwarranted and immaterial. I felt guilty for being in a bad mood. I do have so much to be thankful for. It could have been me that was mourning the loss of a child.
I cried...for a long while. I hurt for this mother and the little brother she left behind to pick up the pieces of her hurting heart. There is nothing that could make sense of it all.
I decided to take a walk with my camera. A winter day, with it's bite in the air and the grey, sad clouds above. It was if the day matched my mood, but as I walked around my secret garden where I go to think and reflect, I noticed that even amongst the darkest of days...the saddest of days, God provides glimpses of hope and love. From vines bearing fruit, and the port holes of leaves that resemble hearts, I was left with a hug from Him.
He never leaves us, even when we want to turn around and walk away.
He is always there to provide us shelter from the storm.
Deaths of Flowers
I would if I could choose
Age and die outwards as a tulip does;
Not as this iris drawing in, in-coiling
Its complex strange taut inflorescence, willing
Itself a bud again - though all achieved is
No more than a clenched sadness,
The tears of gum not flowing.
I would choose the tulips reckless way of going;
Whose petals answer light, altering by fractions
From closed to wide, from one through many perfections,
Til wreched, flamboyant, strayed beyond recall,
Like flakes of fire they piecemeal fall.
Edith Joy Scovell
Please join me in prayer for this family and for the little girl lost, who felt she had no one to confide in...to trust with the secret that she wanted to end her life so tragically early.
This is Home Girl and I love to focus on happiness, but sometimes the sadness of a day overwhelms me.