Thursday, January 27, 2011

Gloomy Winter Day

I had originally planned to have this gleeful, stunning, and salivating blog post for you today, and for some reason or another, I just could not get it together.  I woke up with a sore neck, there was no coffee in the house, it's dreary and cold outside.  I had a bad case of the "blahs" and I was not in a good mood.

I then posted on Facebook that I was in a bad mood and within seconds I got a message from a friend letting me know that a mutual friend of ours had just lost her 16 year old daughter to suicide last night.

My heart literally sank and suddenly my grumpiness felt so unwarranted and immaterial.  I felt guilty for being in a bad mood.  I do have so much to be thankful for.  It could have been me that was mourning the loss of a child.

I cried...for a long while.  I hurt for this mother and the little brother she left behind to pick up the pieces of her hurting heart.  There is nothing that could make sense of it all.

I decided to take a walk with my camera.  A winter day, with it's bite in the air and the grey, sad clouds above.  It was if the day matched my mood, but as I walked around my secret garden where I go to think and reflect, I noticed that even amongst the darkest of days...the saddest of days, God provides glimpses of hope and love.  From vines bearing fruit, and the port holes of leaves that resemble hearts, I was left with a hug from Him.

He never leaves us, even when we want to turn around and walk away.

He is always there to provide us shelter from the storm.  

Deaths of Flowers 

I would if I could choose 
Age and die outwards as a tulip does; 
Not as this iris drawing in, in-coiling 
Its complex strange taut inflorescence, willing 
Itself a bud again - though all achieved is 
No more than a clenched sadness, 

The tears of gum not flowing. 
I would choose the tulips reckless way of going; 
Whose petals answer light, altering by fractions 
From closed to wide, from one through many perfections, 
Til wreched, flamboyant, strayed beyond recall, 
Like flakes of fire they piecemeal fall. 

Edith Joy Scovell 

 Please join me in prayer for this family and for the little girl lost, who felt she had no one to confide trust with the secret that she wanted to end her life so tragically early.

This is Home Girl and I love to focus on happiness, but sometimes the sadness of a day overwhelms me.


April said...

You can't help but wonder,"WHY?" Why, oh, why did that young girl think that taking her own life was the only way out? I can't think of much more heartbreaking circumstances than to lose a child that way. We must NEVER take for granted life and those we love! Thank heaven that God is ALWAYS near! Sending you big hugs today and joining you in prayer for the family.

I Am Woody said...

So very, very sad. Prayers being said.....

Unknown said...

16, Oh, that is so very, very sad. Heartbreaking,

I loved what you wrote on that post about Julie. I am glad you changed your life and your choices and you are where you are today. What a blessing.

May said...

I am truly sorry for the loss of your friend's daughter. Her family is in my prayers..

Debbie W said...

I'm so sorry to hear of the death of your friends daughter. As I looked at my 16 year old last night....I didn't want to even imagine what that kind of heartbreak something like that must be like. I hugged her extra hard before bed last night. My thoughts are with you and your friends family.

Anita Johnson said...

I stopped by to thank you for your comment and to enjoy more of your photos. I am so sorry to hear of this tragedy and will add the family to my prayer list.

Buckeroomama said...

My heart breaks reading about your friend's child's suicide. I'm sending a little prayer that her family somehow survives this as 'wholly' as anyone could given the circumstances.

Caution/Lisa said...

What an unspeakable loss for that family. Simply unspeakable.